Koui

So mom passed early this morning. This has been a very long 5 years for me, and I'm now kind of in a state; Not upset, not angry, not sad.

I suppose I could thank this experience for teaching me: How to clean a two story house (with a vacuum), how to cook chicken, porkchops, and tuna-melts (in addition to making dinners in 30 minutes), how to genuinely care for someone else instead of just talking about it (yeah...there are a lot of people like this. They aren't completely full of *hit but most people aren't actually prepared to do work, emotional or otherwise) how NOT to take things for granted and actually try to enjoy stuff instead of just talking about it (among other things...)

...A SMALL RANT

But, if anything else as someone who has lived in the hypothetical "Who will take care of (you) when your senile?" scenario I can honestly say that ANYONE who asks someone that question has never done it, nor do they feel empathy for their children who will be watching them deteriorate while in pain and unable to communicate. (My mom didn't do that, but a lot of delusional self-righteous people do)

You want to know the part that is especially surreal? The average caretaker for elderly parents is pre- or post-retirement age (55+), so it was not exactly something relatable (the youngest person I found an account from was only a few years older and married, taking care of her kids, her brother's family--- who lost their house due to natural disaster---and her elderly mom under one roof).

Oh and if Dad's accounts are anything to go by, a lot of Healthcare people are complete idiots outside of standard procedure...so there's that ]X

...RANT OVER

Take care of yourselves folks. Peace

So Episode 02 has brought up a few things I need to consider as I continue.

* Fighting poses/action poses are easier for me than framing.

* I need more practice with character design --- my filler characters ( the audience) feel more... natural (?) Then my cast ( I don't like creating characters whose design can't be drawn without "breaks" --- such as decorative padding, accessories, armor or patterns I have to add depth to after the initial drawing).

* Clayton's pages took longer to crank out because my first design for him was a little too attractive...though it would make more sense to draw that, afterall people like Gengar right? 😊

* This sketchy style takes a lot more time...it also makes inconsistent details more obvious and reminds me how important it is to make really good base sketches

*There are a lot of pokemon Ishi can add to his new team before he reaches Cerulean. I've considered: Nidoran(female), Jigglypuff, Magikarp, Paras, and Clefairy so far. Mind you he'll only catch ONE!

*I may have to upgrade Starmie if I'm going to use this new art style effectively...

We took my mom to the ER on Monday, turns out she was a lot sicker than we thought (she also tested positive ...again) ---the good news is that she is getting better day by day, and dad is making sure everything is in order (paperwork and speaking with staff) while spending the night incase anything comes up.

In the meantime my playing of Mystery dungeon for a week (because my computer was unable to charge), and reading volume 11 of FoTNS (which as two of the most epic fights I've ever seen illustrated) gave me time to reflect...and also gave me ideas:

LEVELONE

Okay I admit it; I HATE THIS, I can't stand LO's design; it's sketchy, its wonky, and the artstyle clashes with my own, Tetsuo's AND Pokemon's --- I also kind of regret asking the audience about the story's design elements before the majority of it was written...thing is I never intended to have a full team of 6...well not really: If you consider how FoTNS is set up Kenshiro never has more than two cast members in his company at a time. While I didn't want Feist to be a loner, the "team" (outside of Larson and the at the time an un-named third member) were supposed to shadow Mouse and Birdbrain at a distance until Sly (the trainer) called them forward/tagged them in.

Apart from that I did have a team in mind, my reasons for the polls that followed was because I haven't had audience participation in a long while and thought it would be a good idea to try it...and got burned out in the process X[

Small issues aside, I should probably do this my way from now on. I can't have fun with these characters as they are and it's killing me --- If I don't have fun, nothing gets done. 8(

MYSTERY DUNGEON

I like this game a lot (though it's kind of short story-wise) and wondered if I should do a post about it --- or maybe a humorous cartoon? (I faced literal poke-gods that got defeated by a Bulbasaur...that's hilarious).

OTHER

As for my own stuff...I'm considering trying to create a non-derivative work (that is, not based upon established franchises) since I haven't done so for years, and it would be nice if my ideas were front and center for once ;D

In LEVELONE's case, the idea is still more like a hobby thing for me, so I'll try not to be so serious with it from now on. Hope you're prepared for team 1.0

Ok...folks I've got to come clean.

I realize now that my issue (art-wise) is that I may stress over uploading/finishing all these ideas is that I may be committing to them for the wrong reasons --- I think that some of the ideas I propose I try to commit to because I want my audience to like ME not my work.

with this in mind I think that some of the stuff I claim to like, I have a superficial interest in at best --- in fact, on more than one occasion I may even have substituted something I actually like, for something in the same genre but more popular ( I should probably be drawing Link...not Sonic) it may explain why some of my galleries seem so scattered/inconsistent and empty compared to the standard I see on other artist's pages. It is not possible to devote the same energy to every "good" idea...I just wish I realized that sooner.

To rectify this I will have to start focusing more on what I actually like and not what I think people want. I've talked about this problem of mine once every 5 years since I've been on DA

but I've never actually known where it comes from.

What do you guys think? What am I actually good at? And how can I apply that to new stuff?

I now have a profile on Artstation!

Though said set up made me look at my work with concern...you see AS is a site that is frequented by professionals and companies that hire artists, that means they are very strict as to what imagery is appropriate and will suspend your page if you don't adhere to those rules.

I'll put it this way; due to the last 5-10 years of drawing nothing but tits, fanart, and erotica I don't have a lot of art that is appropriate for my portfolio there (when I say they are strict I mean it!) --- so I'm kind of back to square one.

This will probably effect my uploads here as well so keep that in mind ok?